Missing in Action on FaceBook …or are you just off getting a life? Not with Lupus unfortunately.

When you don’t hear from a friend normally, you expect or believe they are busy, and will be around again soon.

With Lupus friends it’s quite the opposite. They could be in Hospital, or just travelling not so well, as I discovered recently.

It is always a shock to find out a friend is in hospital, or so badly affected by their Lupus they are incapable of posting on line.

Often with Lupus it is hard to find the energy to post, and keep your spirits up if you are feeling like Hell. Also remember Lupus affects family dynamics too and can cause that “Black Dog” of depression to bite hard.

Keep an eye on your friends, try to notice someone who is “missing”.  They may have been admitted to Hospital, be having a Major Flare, having problems at home, or just be downright SAD.

So……………….what can you do?

Be there,  and care! It’s not a huge thing to do.

What not to do however, can be a bit harder.

We ALL know how it is, we’ve all been there. They don’t want your sympathy, rather, they will be “Back” when they are able.

When someone is struggling, often the LAST  thing they want is the world at large to know.

Don;’t bombard them with wall messages. Don’t put their personal stuff out there in Cyber World, it’s the equivalent of gossiping, and can be hurtful as well. If they wanted the World to know they would have taken out an advertisement.They will let you know or not, depending on how they feel, when they are ready. because, let’s face it, some of these Lupus People are Strangers to you, and you are a stranger to them.

Some however, are as close to your heart as Sisters, but you KNOW who they are, and can rally around them as much as you like.

Rest assured, unless you are a personal and close friend, your posts can be intrusive. Be a little sensitive too. There ARE people out there who DON’T want posts of the “God Bless you and heal you” type.  Likewise the Get well Soon type of post.I’ve deleted a lot of people who feel because I have Lupus I am the same as them, or have the same beliefs.

With Lupus you don’t get well, just a little better, or if you are extra lucky, a remission.

Don’t bombard them with cures, remedies and treatments.  If it worked our Doctors would DO IT. I’ve also deleted a lot of THOSE recentlly. Truly, does taking a bio balancing ionic salt cure Lupus. Get A  GRIP.

Tact and diplomacy are all. Try and remember how you would  feel about having your life at it’s worst out for all to see.

However, be ready to respond when they are “back”. It’s easy to tell. Their posts start to “sound” like them again, and it’s time to swing back in to action in that Wonderful World Wide Circle of Mystical Magical Lupus Friends.

THAT’S  when you can change your Gentle Lupie Hugs and thoughts  into great big Lupie Warrior Roarrrrr Fighter Bear Hugs………..


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kelly Davidson
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 16:01:54

    Totally agree… and when we do ask for help or share with you what’s going on in our lives, please try to be interested for just 5 minutes. Let us know that you do care and that you acknowledge that what we are going through is tough and unfortunate. We just need to know that you care enough to listen.


  2. Michelle Licht
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 23:17:37

    Oh so true. Im on Imuran and a few other meds (HAHA) and sometimes you just dont feel like you wish you did. I haved lost many friends because “I never want to do anything”. God bless you for this it is so true.


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