Oh Dear!!


I try not to allow Lupus to stop me doing things but oh my did I learn a lesson today.

You see I am doing my Certificate IV Associate Diploma  Bridging Course in Occupational Health and Safety. As a precursor I had to do a rather large assignment last week, which I managed to achieve and it is all nicely bound and presented, if I may humbly say so, This in itself was a pretty good effort, as I filled a late cancellation and only had a few days to do it, instead of the month usually given.

This morning I planned to drive to the station and catch the express train to the City, walk the 3 blocks to the venue, and reverse the plan this evening.

So, I wake up, feeling not too bad, make my lunch, throw a yoghurt, a couple of pieces of fruit and my nibble mix into the bag, actually remember to take my assignment and a pen (miraculous) and head off to the station. Arghhhhhhh.

I got to the station and found I had forgotten my wallet, so NO train ticket. Too late to go home, I look at my fuel gauge, YES!! I have enough to drive in to the city….woot. So off I go.  M1 on ramp at Loganlea Rd CLOSED..detour ….2o minutes of queuing on the service road to the next on ramp.

For once due to school holidays the peak hour traffic was flowing fairly freely so arrived in plenty of time. Parked in the allocated disabled carpark that I had previously teed up in case I was not up to the 3 block walk and in I go.

The morning modules were a breeze.

So to the AFTER  Lunch Session………….Now I don’t know how many of you are familiar with Legislati0n speak, but the Act, Rules, Codes of Practice, and Guidelines are in legal Speak and in numbered  Sections, Chapters, Clauses, subclauses ad infinitum.

I know I have real problems now with brain fog, but as soon I opened those books to start looking up relevant Clauses and things the numbers literally DID something to my brain. I could NO LONGER make ANY sense of the page, I could no longer write properly, and I could no longer think coherently. The pages swam before my eyes. I could not read the words after the numbers. In short I changed from a coherent, verbose and intelligent  respondent to the sessions,  into a total babbling nincompoop. This scared the crap out of me and I now wonder if my brain lesions have given me some sort of number Dyslexia (Is there such a thing?) as the difference was horrific. And noticeable. I could no longer read my own  my handwriting. I could not think clearly, I could not reason.

Perhaps the fluorescent lights had something to do with it, or the fact that it had been 5 hours since I had taken my medications, but whatever it was, I had to approach the Trainer and ask for help. So tomorrow in the open book section I will be part of a four person group. Today the groups were in threes, and as there were two people left over it was myself and a person who had absolutely no experience with any of this, and had very poor english skills to boot.

Why did today scare me? I am a good student, a quick learner, intelligent. well read, totally GOOD at my job and can rattle off relevant legislative requirements at the drop of  a hat. I can do a site audit, identify hazards,  do a  risk assessment on said hazards, risk rate it, and apply control measure to said risk assessment. I can write Safe Work Method Statements, design and publish safety posters and write instructions on anything Safety related. I have a very good knowledge of my job and achieve what I set out to achieve.

It scared me because I think my Lupus has affected some of my cognitive abilities quite severely, and I am so worried by today I will be speaking to the Immunologist about it when I see him in October.

Am I alone in this?


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dannye
    Dec 11, 2011 @ 23:48:29


    • annielupus
      Dec 11, 2011 @ 23:55:16

      Hi Dannye. Thanks for the link. This used not to be a problem for me, or at least it WASN’T until the White Matter Lesions showed their hairy little tentacles..LOL


  2. Dannye
    Dec 12, 2011 @ 00:03:03

    I have had some issues with this my whole life but an MRI a couple of years ago ruled out any lesions so I think I’m just extra “special”. ;p


  3. Isabelle Janicaud
    May 10, 2013 @ 13:45:49

    Thankyou Annie ❤ makes me feel a whole lot less alone to know you understand what im talking about


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